paying attention.

"Because your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise you." Psalm 63:3

I'm paying attention to the lovingkindness of God.  This day today filled with freedom. Blank space on my calendar.  Holding room to notice&protect the quiet hours.  The ones reminding me that He is here. He is with me.  The grace of one day. When my mind is quiet and still.  I feel my own breath.  Inhaling peace.  Exhaling gratitude. His spirit keeping me company.  He invites me into this secret place. It's sacred&holy. Effortless.  Whisperings of  I'm with you& I'm for you.  A private happiness.  It's what lovingkindness feels like to me.

 Also. Patio parties. The hours spent with people and food & music. Candles&tulips. Champagne & dancing and cigars.  I notice him here too.  In the sweet magic of these days&nights.  The way we're connected by laughter because every little thing is funny. Connected by beauty because every single soul is stunning. The air alive with belonging & energy &whimsy. Locking arms& holding hands.  Twirling&singing under stars & twinkle lights. Choreographed by a God who thought it all up.  Every good& sparkly moment.  A crowded happiness. This too feels like lovingkindness to me.

And then. When a neighbor drops by unannounced and sits on my sofa and tells me her secrets.  When I've hurt a precious friend and I meet her in a parking lot to apologize for my screw-up & she shows me more grace than I deserve. When my husband walks through the door at lunch with a bottle of fancy champagne because he feels badly about not recording the Oscars. When my kids call. When I text my people to come for tacos and they all show up to gather at the table. Anytime I receive an invitation. Or someone is brave enough to start a conversation that matters. Or sends a word of encouragement. Reads this blog. Smiles at me when I'm on a run. When I feel small but still valued. It's all lovingkindness. It's better than life& I'm paying attention.