So. I'm just gonna say it. Don't judge. I (accidentally) read 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. Exactly two weeks ago. I read THE book. THE book I PrOcLaiMeD I WAs NOT going to read. I had absolutely NO desire to read. I had NO intention to read. BUT. In a moment of WEAKNESS & INDULGENCE & plain old CURIOSITY.....it HAPPeNED. All of a sudden..it was REAd. I take FuLL responsibility. AND....I'm TELLING you this for a FEw ImPOrTAnT reasons.
FIRST: I feel BAD about it. I feel bad because I SAID I wouldn't. I told DEAR friends I wouldn't. I took a stand on Facebook, even. Good grief. So. There's that.
SECOND: I'm SWORN to AUThENTIcITy. I'm pRaCticiNg LivInG an open & honest LIFE. Period. I'm learning how to do this a little BeTTeR each day. It feels good. It honors God. It honors you. It's heaLinG for my soul. Being VuLnEraBLe is the OnLy way I can GrOw. I'm REALLY trying HARD in this area. It's BRAVE. And NEW. (Please bear with me:)
THIRD: I'm usually really really CAREFuL about the things I read and the things I watch. I'm a bit frightened of anything over PG13. I'm intentional about putting GOOD stuff in. So. This was DIFFEReNT. To say the least.
Here's the ThiNG. Here's what I've learned in the past two weeks regarding me & this book & Jesus. I'm gonna DO stuff that isn't GOOD for me. Why? Because I'm a DEPRAVED SINFUL CReATUrE. That's why. I'm not above it. I wish I were. AND. wHEN I DO. I REFUSE to HIDE. I won't. I know that SHAME THRIVES in SECRECY. No more secrets. No more SHAME. EVER. In CHRiST there is no shame. No pretending it didn't hAppEn. Just. No. PREtENDING. So. When I choose to do stuff that isn't BEST. I'll regret it. Confess it. Learn from it. Move on. Choose BeTteR for today. He
GIVES FREELy the food that satisfies and brings DELIgHT to my SOUL. THAT is what I'm after.
I'm choosing ThAT. For today.
