christmas.

"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." ❤️Luke 2:19

Thank you, December. You did it. You absolutely were the best one. Way to go. Every sweet moment that could possibly be held & remembered & treasured, you provided. You wrapped up a magical year like a boss. Christmas week was the S T A R.

We hosted a few of our merriest parties and filled our cottage up with family&friends&neighbors//old&new. Many of our most favorite people were here and it was so super FUN. We even hired a caterer & bartender which is about as fancy as we get. 

Christmas EveEve was McCarthy Chili Verde Night. It's tradition & yummy & really special. Our family is warm&silly& everyone is FUNNY. We laugh the whole night through. It feels good. I'm 

deeply thankful for McCarthy's. We belong to each other.

(Plus. Now we have secret service. So don't worry about us. We're safe:)

We celebrated Christmas Eve at my parents and Christmas Day at my Ant Bert's. Every minute together was filled with love&games&food& laughter & a deep sense of gratitude. 

The night before Christmas sleepover was the cherry-on-top. Best friends&matching blankies& mimosas to toast our brand new happily-engaged couple. IT WAS MAGIC.

And so now I've been pondering and treasuring. My family says I say it every year. But TRULY. 

For so many beautiful reasons. THIS WAS THE MERRIEST CHRISTMAS EVER.

family.

'Then those who feared the Lord talked with each other, and the Lord listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in His presence concerning those who feared the Lord and honored His name.' Malachi 3:16

At holiday season I get really really terribly nostalgic. Normal. Right? It's a few days before Thanksgiving. &A L M O S T Christmas. Which are truly the VERY same thing in my mind.
Completely& hopelessly thankful for the GIFT of God. For the gift of Grace. For the gift of Life&L O V E &family. My cute red christmas stuff is out. Because I can't help it. Because it's our first holiday in our new/old rambling cottage house. And because it's important. To welcome a season who's aim is joy&peace. Anticipation has settled in my heart.

I'm hoping to chronicle the next month here. Thanksgiving at the beach. (Tradition at my sissy's.) Christmas in Bakersfield. (Tradition at my house & My Ant Bert's.)  A month 

of L O V E  leading to Christmas. Filled up with the best family&friends ever.  You guys. My calendar & my heart are already F U L L.  

MerryMerry.

thanksgiving.

'Listen, listen to me, & eat what is good and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.' Isaiah 55:2

Super thankful. For a million tiny beautiful reasons. I'm in love. With life. With God. With my brilliantly wonderful people. Can't remember a year that has been richer, deeper or more sacred. Listening to the voice that matters. Eating what is good. Paying attention to the present. Staying out of other people's business. Noticing the graces of the moment. Staying inspired. Enjoying honest connection. Finding the good in our difference. Open to all things new. Learning from everyone. Spending my yes's wisely. Deciding who I will disappoint(&knowing it's ok). Understanding which circus &monkeys are mine(&knowing which aren't). Creating my own wild & precious life. Moment by moment. Day by day. 

This has been a glorious year. Of healing.Transformation. Reconciliation. Every step. Every struggle. Every misunderstanding. Every mistake. Every disappointment. Every regret. Every tear. All necessary. It all belongs. Because now I'm HERE. I like it here. It's anti-hustle. Anti-frantic. Anti-competitive. Anti-judge-y. HERE is warm & whimsical & silly. It's quiet &peaceful &content. It's spacious &open &free. My heart& soul &mind whispering thankyouthankuouthankyou.

chicago.

'For you were once darkness, but now you are light in The Lord. Live as children of light.' Ephesians 5:8

I went to Chicago last week for a magical adventure. A writers conference spilling over with good energy & lit-up people. It was everything I hoped it would be. Beyond.  Donald Miller. Shauna Neiquist. Glennon Melton. Bob Goff. I hugged and met & instagramed these dreamy authors. I listened and scribbled notes while they told secret stories. I was in heaven. Not one thing is sweeter to my soul than hearing an honest true brave hard-to-tell real life story. The one that tells me W H O you A R E.  I'll fall head over heels in love with you on the spot. 

This is Glennon Melton. I have a crush on her. She's a soul lover. Truth teller. Super brave writer. I feel connected to her because she lets me know who she actually is when she writes. She lives in light. Carries it with her like a torch. Leaves a little sparkle wherever she goes.  See. Look. We're all glowy & sparkly.

These are my real-life friends. Darci&Rhonda. They're the coolest. I made them come with me.

 I think they're glad they did.

There are so many best parts about Chicago.  I'm slowly sorting them out like Halloween candy. 

Don't want to forget. I like to remember that I have lots of space to grow. To be better. Kinder. Braver. It's really so exciting. To know that we can change. That we create our own lives. That we don't have to be stuck. Ever. That we're all wanted& loved &treasured by God. That he invites us into a life of 

rich connection&light. Unnecessary to fight over it. More than enough for us all. I got to witness it. Be a part of it. Share in it. Bring it home with me. Five days of church.

Thanks, Windy City.❤️

sister.

'Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you become blameless and pure children of God...in which you shine like stars in the universe.' Philippians 2:14-15

Jeff and I listened to a sermon on our way home from the beach on gratitude. It reminded me of my sister. Gratefulness. She's brilliant at it. She doesn't have a complaint in her body. Not one. She can find the best part of any soul & every circumstance. True story.

When I was eight years old my mom had a baby girl. Our family collectively named her Jacalyn Stephanie McCarthy. We call her Jasi. She was perfect. Still is. She belonged to all of us but I called her mine. She brought hope and light & love to our little world. A fresh new focus. Joy that only a baby can bring. She was much needed. Sweetest gift. My mom was in emotional crisis during pregnancy. Swept away to a mental hospital. Us three littles swept away to grandparents. Dad 

worked to keep our family 

afloat. I have scattered memories of that season. The best 

one of all. Baby sister. Out of every struggle comes something good. She is so good. Bright beauty. Shining star.

She grew up & married her darling high school sweetheart. Forges a gorgeous healthy marriage. Raises four amazing kids. Owns a fun&fabulous hair salon. Creates a happy full-of-love life at the beach. Turns hardships into growth&change. 

She's that one. The one that knows how to live life full on. Love her people well. A hoper, a dreamer, a doer. Interested. Interesting. She's a fairytale. If you know her, you agree. If you don't, you wish you did. She makes life better. She's loyal&true. She's grace. She's mine.

Lucky me. 

weekends.

.

Three years ago we moved our kids away to school & bought a bungalow at the beach. All in the same month. It was nuts. We had talked one day and some day and if only. All the dreams.  Then from out of the blue. Bam. The Bungalow. You guys. She's super cute. & sweet. & just perfect for us. We adore every magical bit of her. 700 square feet of heaven. Our weekend happy place. She got dolled up with some white paint & striped fabrics. She's light & open. Cozy & easy. We show up on Friday with a smile &bottle of wine and settle in. I mean. Seriously. Look at her cuteness.

Weekends have a familiar simple&sweet rhythm. Light-hearted fun. Restful days & friend-filled evenings. Dinner at Zorros. Breakfast at Seaside. Happy hour next door. (wait. did I mention mike&kelly live next door...:) Football watching in the man cave. Morning hikes on the ridge. 

Kayaks& bikes & reading &campfires & friends stopping by...sunsets & sweatshirts& 

whalewatching. 

Our little bungalow has become part of our story. She's a place we connect deeper& dream bigger. 

A place where a weary soul is restored....just in time for another Monday. Thank you darling bungalow. You're our favorite.

growing.

'Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.'  Matthew 5:5

This second half of life gig is really something. I have new eyes. Didn't ask for them. Didn't think I needed them. In fact, I was sure I saw pretty clearly. Worked hard at knowing all the important things. Studied scripture like it was my job.  Had most of God figured out. Until, I didn't. It scared the crap out of me. The old me was black&white. Either/Or. In&Out. This/That. All/Nothing. Had an answer. Had the passage to back it up. Spoke the 'truth' in 'love' often. Holy. Obedient. Passionate. Then, suddenly.....I got new eyes.

Suddenly. God is big. Unexplainable. Uncontrollable. He no longer fits in my little mindset. Tit for tat. You do this...you get that. I can't make sense of Him. Can't explain Him. Can't control Him. A beautiful Mystery. A marvelous Wonder. I'm learning to live in the big wide space of wonder & mystery.  Of 'I don't know.'  Of letting go. Of surrender. Of paradox. Of contradictions.  Of illogical & unreasonable GRACE. I don't need to be right. Ever. About anything. I'm open. I'm a believer in the God of unconditional love. In the God who brought me life and hope and freedom. The God who keeps growing & healing & transforming me.  In the God who gave me new eyes.  &I'm dazzled by them.