growing.

'Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.'  Matthew 5:5

This second half of life gig is really something. I have new eyes. Didn't ask for them. Didn't think I needed them. In fact, I was sure I saw pretty clearly. Worked hard at knowing all the important things. Studied scripture like it was my job.  Had most of God figured out. Until, I didn't. It scared the crap out of me. The old me was black&white. Either/Or. In&Out. This/That. All/Nothing. Had an answer. Had the passage to back it up. Spoke the 'truth' in 'love' often. Holy. Obedient. Passionate. Then, suddenly.....I got new eyes.

Suddenly. God is big. Unexplainable. Uncontrollable. He no longer fits in my little mindset. Tit for tat. You do this...you get that. I can't make sense of Him. Can't explain Him. Can't control Him. A beautiful Mystery. A marvelous Wonder. I'm learning to live in the big wide space of wonder & mystery.  Of 'I don't know.'  Of letting go. Of surrender. Of paradox. Of contradictions.  Of illogical & unreasonable GRACE. I don't need to be right. Ever. About anything. I'm open. I'm a believer in the God of unconditional love. In the God who brought me life and hope and freedom. The God who keeps growing & healing & transforming me.  In the God who gave me new eyes.  &I'm dazzled by them.