Listen.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."  Psalm 19:14

Oh Hey. hi. Its been QUIET here.  My bossy (when I say BOSSy, I mean BeAutIfUL & EnCouRagiNg...) FriEnDs KEEp REMINDING that I haven't written a word since April 10th. NOT. ONE. WORD.  'APRIL 10Th!' (they keep saying...) 'I KNoW!' (i keep saying...) I WANT to write but I just don't have anything to SAY.  i got nothin.   I need to have something to SaY if I'm going to WrITe.  I figured i was SuPPoSeD to be LIStEnING instead.  So. I was like 'fine',  I'll hush-up and LISteN for a little while. A little while turned into a LONG while. 80 days to be exact.  Did you hear me.  I've been QUIET for 80 DAYS-IN-ROW. That's some kind of record. No lie.  Turns out...NOT TALKInG is actually a good thing.  Silence is nothing like you'd expect.  Its not empty. It's FULL & RICH. Jesus sits with me. I'm aware of the meditations of my heart. I recognize the things in me that can use some changing. Apparently there are layers. We are working on these things together. Thought patterns. Habits. Voices in my head that bully me. It's all extremely HuMbLinG. Yet. hopeful&happy&freeing. All at the same time. I'm getting braver.

In light of the Christian/Gay debate. (I HATE debates.)  I USED to KNOW SO MUCH.  I could rattle off biblical answers to most of life's questions without missing a beat. NoW. I know a couple things for sure. That's about it. The rest. I JUST. DONT KNoW.  I have a few hunches. That's all. I'm good with it.  I know what I want to BE. I want to BE more like Jesus. He's humble. kind. forgiving. gracious. trustworthy. loving. wise. patient......every attractive quality. He hung out with the SINnERS. He's in LOVE with EvERY PERSON. Every SINnER.  And when you pay close attention....the only ones He wasn't particularly happy with we're the BIBLE BULLIES. The EXTRA RIGHTEOUS RELIGIouS ONES.  I'm working on NOT being one of those & I apologize from the bottom of my heart for the times I have been. I'm sure I have been. I'm so sorry.  I'm grateful to the tips of my toes for FORGIVENESS & GRACE.

I'll stop here. That's my THOUGHt for today. It's good to be back.